Inbound and Outbound

I'm catching the train late today after I finished some paperwork for the new job I start in about a week. The sun is bright, the temperature is perfect, and the wind is slow but steady. I already find it hard to get on the train and leave all this, but now I'm watching something that makes it even harder.

A man has rode his bike to the train and taken a seat, by himself, on the outbound platform, opposite me. He's eating a pretzel covered in mustard and it's getting all over his face. He begins to mumble to himself and it occurs to me the man is mentally retarded. His bike is next to him, but it's not locked up. This man isn't catching a train anywhere. He came to watch the trains. On a sunny day like this one I can't be anything but jealous about his planned activities. He waves hello to everyone who walks by. If there's a train approaching the station he warns them about it. He mimicks to himself, word for word, the voice over announcing the approaching train.

"Caution. A train is approaching. Please do not cross the tracks."

He puts his 1 liter soda down and stands up to face the outbound train approaching. He waves vigorously and smiles to the conductor of the train. As the train leaves and I once again gain view of him, he is sitting down, devouring his huge salted pretzel.

I think about what he sees in me. Maybe he is jealous that he isn't as capable as I am. Maybe he wishes he could have a job and be normal. But I wish there was some way to prove to him that the people on the opposite side of the tracks envy him the same. And the direction we're headed is probably not as enviable compared to the direction he's headed.

As I got on the train I looked out to see him, standing in the sun, waving to the conductors. Without a care in the world.