Super Powers

If I was a super hero I'd have many abilities.

I'd be able to see through walls. Even walls covered by other walls.

I'd have the power to be invisible. So I can protect women while they're in the shower. When they're most vulnerable.

I would be able to see through people. Not literally. I'd just be very observant and socially aware.

I could fly anywhere I would like without (unwillingly) getting a cavity search.

I could brew the tastiest coffee ever. But I wouldn't drink any. I would be powered by solar energy, so every morning I'd pour me a nice hot cup of sunshine.

I could have laser vision. And my laser vision could have laser vision.

I could smell from 5 miles away. Unless I use my super hero deodorant.

I could have the ability to make people realize they talk too much without hurting their feelings.

I could dance at weddings and not get sweaty.

Instead of daylight savings I could just stop the earth's rotation for an hour.

I could think of funny things to write.