Return!/Gatsby

Wow! It's been so long! Well, fret not my loyal army of readers, my phone is back in action and that also means I am too. I will blog about my tree since I haven't been able to do so since I purchased it.

On the last day of the Philadelphia Flower Show, Kristin and I got a sweet ass deal on two infant redwoods. They were practically screaming for us from the "3 for $6" table. I was anxious to not return home empty handed so when I saw a twig in a pot of soil I said, "Why not?". I grabbed one for Kristin and one for me (the two biggrest twigs I saw) and was about to get in line to purchase them. We both figured "Cool. A nice little plant for us each to take care of and talk about." Wrong. I asked the friendly sales-lady what two objects I held in my hands and a little bit about how to take care of them. To our surprise I was holding two infant trees. She told us to keep them moist and give them plenty of sun. And not to plant them until the first day of Spring. We obliged. I asked her how tall these trees typically grow. She said "One fifty". We paused waiting for some unit of measurement we've never heard before. "Feet" she said. To which Kristin hastily responded "Sold!"

We chose our individual plants and took them to our respective houses. After a week of watering and feeding it sun via my bedroom window, my tree has grown about half an inch and has sprouted MANY tiny green leaves. It has also gained a name; Gatsby. I'm a sucker for literature and he's by far one of my favorite characters in any book ever.

Tomorrow is the first day of Spring. Tomorrow is when I plant Gatsby where he'll be (hopefully) for the next 1000 years. It will be a joyous occasion, but it will be terribly sad to see Gatsby out in the real world all by himself. Instead of a little plastic pot on my windowsill.

WHERE is a Keith????

Hello FOK (Friends of Keith):

This is a message for all (three) of you out there reading this (or trying to). I would like to apologize on his behalf for the absence of Keith over the past several days. Try as he might, he cannot get his not-so-cool-anymore Google phone to work. At all. So between bouts of saying, "I wish I'd gotten the iPhone," and tossing the G1 against walls and car floors, he hasn't had the time or technology (his loaner phone is not nearly as advanced as the aforementioned Google) to update his blog as of late. He hopes you will forgive this when he comes back and blogs happily away.

Thank you all for your support in this trying time,
Kristin

Snow Delay (Please?)

Today I woke up, after having a day off due to snow, not wanting to go to work. The same snow that closed the city down yesterday is still piled in my street, so it's pretty ironic the city took a day off and couldn't even get plows to take care of our streets.

Well anyway, I woke up about ten minutes late, but didn't worry because the trains are typically delayed several minutes during shitty weather. I got some clothes on, brushed my teeth, blah blah typical morning routine. By the time I got to the train station it was right when the train usually arrives. I still had to buy a ticket so I was glad it wasn't right on time like I predicted. As I crossed the tracks I found out my prediction was wrong. Its light turned the corner and the bells began going off where it was about to cross the road -- where I was standing. I jumped off of the tracks, not to get out of the way, but to race the train to the ticket office.

So here I am. Wearing sneakers and no socks, plowing through the snow with my jacket unzipped and my bag hanging off one of my arms. Of course I make it to the office in good time, but alas... Deborah Debit-Card was making a purchase. I waited for ten seconds and then jumped on the now-leaving train. I had to pay a $1.50 surcharge. That could have bought me coffee to make this morning a little less suckier.

First Day of Shooting - At Best I am a Beast - Pennies

On my way to play my role in a few scenes of an independent film being shot near Kutztown, PA.

I took a nasty spill a few days ago while skiing and the pain in my back was excruciating for a bit. Today it felt a lot better, but just now, as I got in the car, it felt as if someone shanked me in my kidney.

It will be an interesting experience, to say the least. I've been looking forward to shooting these scenes for quite some time now and now that it's here I'm hoping that nothing goes wrong. My role is crucial and (at risk of sounding arrogant) I think it may be the main point of this independent movie.

I get to wear a tie and shoot fake automatic weapons. Hell yeah!

Keep checking for more updates.

I miss my brand new girlfriend.

Poem Story

Last night during President (so weird/awesome to say that) Obama's address to Congress, Kristin and I did like Kristin and I do best, and laid on the couch. After a rough day of dealing with a lot of things I was just comfortable to be with her, and all of the anxiety of the day manifested itself into a deep sleep within MINUTES of her laying down next to me on the couch. I had a dream and in the dream I came up with a spoken-word poem that I considered magnificent. In my dream, I told it to Kristin, who smiled and told me it was good. Turns out I wasn't dreaming. Today, when reciting the poem, she told me I had already told her last night. I was so comfortable with her, I thought I was dreaming. Makes sense considering I have to pinch myself everytime she refers to me as her boyfriend.

Here is the poem:

Looked left, looked right.
I was right. She had left.
There's nothing left to write.

Ten (six) questions.

I asked people on Facebook to give me questions I could answer in my blog. The first ten would be answered. I made it to six.

1. Why? (Erik M.)
Because I am self-centered, totally full of myself and nothing gives me more pleasure than Q+A sessions. And because I'm fresh out of ideas on things to write and Kristin will make fun of me.

2. Personally, I'd like to hear your thoughts on the impending zombie apocalypse. (Jesse C.)
Well. I think as long as we don't run up any stairs to seek safety, and keep plenty of shovels and icepicks nearby we should be okay. Also, don't go outside looking for a loved one or a pet, because, man, they're gone.

3. Have you ever heard the phrase "Shake your money maker" and, upon following the instructions, had money follow your actions? (Brian F.)
Thanks, Brian. I'm trying to think of a way to answer this question. Oh wait. No.

4. Why do you suck at life? (Kenny F.)
I don't. You just see what you want to see. You have what many optometrists refer to as "Mental Retardation".

5. Have you ever used your talent to open your throat and chug beer for more practical uses? (Patrick F.)
Yes. Good question. I use it to swallow cats by the whole. You may not consider that practical, but you'd say different if stray cats kept you up all night. Problem: solved.

6. When did you realize you and Brian were meant for each other? (Rachel S.)
One night Brian came over and asked if I had Will and Grace - Season 3. I said "Yes. And every other season before and after." We watched every episode while holding hands. Even the special features.

The Real Problems That Affect Modern Society

I don't like how a lot of people complain about the economy. I personally think there's a lot more that we could all focus our negative energy on. Like, for instance, the fact that all shoes don't have velcro straps. I don't know about everyone else, but baby Keith rocked velcro shoes better, and more often than other people. When friends would come knock for my brothers and I, there was no "Wait as I tie my shoes." for this guy. Nope. Right out the door. I switched when I found the choice in shoes was much more abundant in the laced variety. And also, because, as my Father put it, "You're a grown man. Stop wearing velcro strapped shoes." Whatever Dad. I'll rock my Adidas' for now, but can't nobody hold me down.

It's people like my Dad who worry about dumb things like the economy and recession and analog to digital TV conversion kits and run-on sentences. Doesn't anybody worry about the small things? Like, we're entering the second decade of the new millenium and people still can't travel by tube. Baby Keith used to stay up late, looking outside of his bedroom window and thinking "Boy oh boy. Can't wait until 2009 when I can take a tube to Mom-mom's house instead of hitchiking there every weekend with my family." Well it's 2009 now, and I still look out the same exact window as a 23 year old man and hate the world (partly because I sleep in the same room I did when I was 7). My friend has a hamster who has two cages connected via tubes. Jealous. If hamsters ruled the world, things would be different. Much different.

I just wish people would open their eyes to the real problems that are tearing our country apart. Like velcro shoes, and lack of tube-travel.